When it comes to the complexities of filing for divorce in Canada, there is an abundance of information out there. Some of its true, some of it’s not. To help you wade through the information, we’ve compiled a list of myths about divorce mediation to help you make steps towards an agreeable divorce.
Myth 1: I’m all for Divorce Mediation, Just Not With My Spouse
No myth may seem like a greater obstacle than this. You may not be able to stay in the same room, or even say hello to your spouse. How are you ever supposed to come together and find a solution?
This is where a divorce mediator can help.
Negotiating with your spouse can be hard. But you don’t have to do it alone. Coming to an agreement in a mature environment where all parties are engaged and working towards a solution is possible.
Years of marriage that have resulted in bottled up hurt and emotions in both parties means you may end up fighting the same old battles, again. Mediators can help keep conversations productive and focused. As a neutral third party, mediators can help you make rational decisions that are deemed fair by you, and your spouse.
Myth 2: Divorce Mediators Only Try to Save Marriages
Divorce mediators are not therapists. When you sign up for divorce mediation, a mediator is not in a position to attempt to reunite you and your spouse.
Couples mediation means working together to come to an agreement on all issues pertaining to a couple’s separation. It means coming to a settlement both spouses agree on.
Myth 3: The Courtroom is the Best Place to Win Child Custody
Your children are likely one of the most important parts of your life. Any parent will likely agree they’d do anything they can to protect their children and have regular access to their children.
However, when you wage a court battle, you’re putting your children in the middle of your conflict. This situation likely means there’s no winning for your children.
Mediating means you and your spouse will have a chance to work out custody, child support, and any other issues surrounding how your relationships with your children will evolve in the future.
For many couples, this can be a transformative experience.
Many couples gain insight and realize that when it comes to their children, they’re both on the same side. They learn to accept the fact that both parents will continue to have an ongoing relationship with their children. The result is that both parties come up with a plan they both agree on and are armed with the skills and tools they will need to communicate with each other when it comes to their children.
Myth 4: Divorce Mediation Means I’ll Settle For Less
We get it. There may be years of bottled up emotions and hurt feelings, and now you want to take your spouse for every possible nickel and dime.
However, divorce is not a “winner takes all” affair.
Likely, you may end up paying more and possibly getting less with a divorce lawyer. Or, more likely, they’ll split your assets equitably.
However, in mediation, we make the rules. As long as they are reasonable for both parties.
When it comes to dealing with assets, debt, spousal or child support, and more, parties are able to come to a custom agreement to make a win-win situation. This is why anything is possible in mediation.
Myth 5: Couples Mediation Is Always the Best Way To Go
You read that right. Couples mediation is not the best solution for every couple. If there is physical or emotional abuse in your relationship, or a spouse’s judgment is impaired by drugs or alcohol, or a spouse is hiding assets, mediation may not be your best route.
The good news is, if you start mediation, and realize it’s not for you, you can stop at any time.
Divorce & Family Mediation Center
Divorce and Family Mediation Center has been helping couples, families, and businesses mediate conflict in a less stressful environment than adversarial court processes for many years. Daniel Mandelbaum, our mediator, has a cooperative an non-confrontational method that offers faster and less expensive solutions than the litigation process.
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