How to prepare for the first session

I often get asked what clients need to bring for their first mediation session, and I understand it can be a bit surprising when I say, “nothing for now.” The reason for this is that a long list of documents may apply to some clients but not others. It’s important to know exactly what we’ll be discussing in the first session, as that will guide the documentation we request.

In general, the first session is focused on discussion and setting the agenda. It’s a time to share perspectives, express concerns, and understand what’s important to each party. Starting with paperwork could add unnecessary stress, especially when emotions are running high.

What to Expect in the First Session:

The first session, which we call “Creating the Agenda,” is primarily a conversation. It’s an opportunity to:

Share your perspective on the issues at hand
Hear the other person’s perspective
Express your concerns, emotions, fears, and challenges

In short, it’s a space to be heard. Only once we have a clear understanding of the issues and concerns will we begin to move into paperwork, typically in the second session.

Mental Preparation Before the Session:

Here are a few tips to help you prepare mentally:

Reflect on Important Issues: Take some time to think about the key issues that are important to you. What are your main concerns? What keeps you anxious? Understanding your priorities will help guide the discussion.
Write Down Your Thoughts: It can be helpful to jot down your thoughts, questions, and any concerns you have. Don’t be shy about expressing your feelings or expectations.
Set Realistic Expectations: Be realistic with your expectations for the outcome. If you haven’t spoken to the other person in years, don’t expect immediate resolution or emotional breakthroughs.
Relaxation: If you’re experiencing significant stress due to other factors in your life, consider postponing the session. It’s important that you come to mediation in the right mental space.

Mental Preparation Before the Session:

Here are a few tips to help you prepare mentally:

Reflect on Important Issues: Take some time to think about the key issues that are important to you. What are your main concerns? What keeps you anxious? Understanding your priorities will help guide the discussion.
Write Down Your Thoughts: It can be helpful to jot down your thoughts, questions, and any concerns you have. Don’t be shy about expressing your feelings or expectations.
Set Realistic Expectations: Be realistic with your expectations for the outcome. If you haven’t spoken to the other person in years, don’t expect immediate resolution or emotional breakthroughs.
Relaxation: If you’re experiencing significant stress due to other factors in your life, consider postponing the session. It’s important that you come to mediation in the right mental space.

Documents to Bring:

Although we won’t start with documents in the first session, there are some key items you may need to gather for later sessions. Here’s a list to help you prepare:

Income Documentation
- Notice of Assessment (NOA) – The most important document
- Income tax returns
- Corporate tax returns (if applicable)
- Financial statements (if applicable)
- Pay stubs or other proof of income, if NOA is not possible.
Completed Reports
- Business valuation ( only if there is one prior)
- Pension valuation
- Appraisal for home and investment properties
Bank Accounts & Balances
- Chequing, savings, and other accounts
- Account numbers, last 3 digits, and balances for credit cards
- Lines of credit
Retirement Accounts
- Pensions, RRSPs, REIT,TFSA,LIRA
Investments
- Including stock options
Loans and Debts
- Mortgages, vehicle loans, and any other outstanding debts

After the Session:

If you have any doubts or need clarification after the session, feel free to reach out to me directly. I’m always available to help.

Looking forward to working with you to navigate this process.

Daniel Mandelbaum

CERTIFIED FAMILY MEDIATOR – JUSTICE INSTITUTE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA

I discovered that I was born to mediate and collaborate, as I was – and still am – the individual that my friends and family call on to resolve any conflicts that may arise.