Couples Mediation is a short-term process designed to identify concerns and meet needs to reach agreements that address the problem at hand. It is a problem-solving approach for resolving disputes and underlying conflicts that will lead to regained friendship and trust in the relationship. It is not marriage counselling or couples therapy.
The final goal is established at the beginning of the sessions and we work toward this goal to provide the couple with new agreements, which can be verbal or in writing. We work towards our goals through various exercises throughout our sessions.
First we identify the perpetual problems vs. the solvable problems. The big heavy issues in your relationship that keep causing you a lot of pain and hurt are very likely to be perpetual issues. When we are gridlocked in an issue, we feel betrayed, disrespected, hurt, frustrated and feel as if we never get anywhere with the problem. The consequence of this is loneliness and distance, where a couple ends up leading parallel lives and becoming emotionally estranged. A large event such as violence, an extra-relational affair or depression is going to be a gridlocked issue.